


Start with Emotion

by Applefallarchive



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Age Regression, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Nonsexual Ageplay, Slight Angst?, caregiver pete
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-09 08:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11665773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applefallarchive/pseuds/Applefallarchive
Summary: Pete clicks on the account of the reply and he's taken aback for a second. It's an account dedicated to age regression facts and knowledge, and Pete finds himself intrigued, scrolling through it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what compelled me to write this but expect more ?
> 
> There are mentions of sexual ageplay in this fic but I will assure you guys there will be no sexual ageplay in this fic. If there comes to be smut in this fic, it will be between without ageplay involved.

Patrick bites down on his thumb nail nervously, and Pete can see the way he avoids the interviewer's eyes.

He's nervous, dreadfully so, Pete recognizes in an instant. He's known Patrick for fifteen years now and he still does what he always does when he's nervous like this. Patrick's doing that small little shake he does when he gets nervous and his blue eyes are huge with fear. It's not their first interview or even their hundredth, but Patrick still gets so anxious over them.

Pete does most of the talking. Joe and Andy chime in occasionally but Patrick remains silent, a little too close to Pete to look normal but Pete knows that if he were to move away, Patrick would get upset and possibly even more scared than he is now. Pete lays his hand on his thigh to comfort him and their interviewer gushes over it, but neither of them care. Their relationship has been public for a while now and while they're not really fond of PDA, Pete has a feeling Patrick needs the touch and comfort. 

Patrick gives Pete a smile in return, the first real emotion he's seen from him today, but it quickly fades, face going back to that faraway stare.

The interviewer attempts to ask Patrick a question and he answers it, but he seems spacey and he doesn't really completely answer the question, instead he dodges it and gives a halfhearted mumble. Pete gives him a worried look, not knowing what's up. Usually he's okay, enough to start up that motormouth of his, but right now, he's eerily quiet. 

The interview ends on a high note, Pete promising a new song out sooner rather than later. He does it mostly to see Patrick's reaction - Patrick usually gets pissy when he reveals album details - but Patrick keeps that same spaced out look in his eyes and trails after Pete like a little puppy.

He does that for a while, holding Pete's hand as Pete guides him through the building, and a hand clutching at the back of Pete's shirt. He's behind him as they walk however, a little too close and he steps on his heel more than once. Pete doesn't mind, even though he doesn't apologize.

They're stopped by fans outside and Pete smiles. He's never annoyed by this. Patrick's behind him once more, almost hiding his face in Pete's shoulder. He's shy, but he's never this shy.

Pete greets them joyfully and the fans giggle and ask for pictures. Pete grins and brings each fan between him and Patrick to take pictures. They take them and the fans head off happily. Patrick's still quiet, and he immediately molds back into Pete's side.

"Are you okay?" Pete whispers into Patrick's ear. It's soft and comforting and he can see Patrick relax slightly. This isn't the first time this has ever happened, and he's learned how to deal with it. This spaced out, nervous Patrick likes comfort and quiet and their home. He's just not sure what's set him off today.

Patrick blinks at him. "Uh-huh." He murmurs, biting on his lip. "Wanna go home." This Patrick is also reduced to small sentences and a limited vocabulary. Pete's always concerned by it.

"Okay." Pete says. He's not sure what else to do besides take Patrick's hand and head to their car. 

At home, Patrick brightens a little. "Home." Patrick says when they get inside, voice pitched up slightly, eyelids drooping and a small smile on his face. Pete smiles right back at him.

They end up on the couch, Patrick's head in Pete's lap. Patrick sometimes complains Pete's like a dog, but Pete always laughs over the fact that Patrick's actually the one that always ends up like this. He loves having his hair played with and loves being lulled to sleep like that - and so Pete obliges him, rubbing his head until he's breathing softly.

Pete opens up his phone and goes to Twitter, scrolling through notifications. It's the usual - until he sees one particular tweet. 

*anyone else notice something up with @patrickstump and @petewentz?*

It's not the actual tweet that makes him curious, it's the reply to it. 

*Patrick kinda acts like he's age regressed. Biting on his thumb and holding onto @petewentz's shirt like that. Cute!*

Pete clicks on the account of the reply and he's taken aback for a second. It's an account dedicated to age regression facts and knowledge, and Pete finds himself intrigued, scrolling through it. He can't stop reading once he starts, and once he finally goes through all the tweets, he puts his phone down and stares at Patrick. 

Age regression. He's heard of it offhandedly before, on the internet, mostly. Reading through the account has given him much more of a greater knowledge on the subject, however, and now that it's in his head, he can't get it to go away.

He stares at Patrick for a moment before picking up his phone and googling it to find more information. Pete's eyes are glued to his phone and he doesn't even notice Patrick wake up.

"Pete." Patrick whines lightly, voice pitched up unhappily. "My neck hurts." He looks up at Pete with those big eyes of his and it click. Pete can see so much more in those eyes - confusion and then utter adoration, but youth. It's a look a little kid gets when they see something they love. Pete's flattered that it's him but he's confused that Patrick's possibly regressed. He doesn't know how to handle this, and he especially doesn't know how to talk to him about it later.

"'Cause you slept on it wrong." Pete tells Patrick, lightly teasing. Patrick giggles and smushes his cheek into Pete's leg, eyes fluttering closed again. It's so childlike that Pete doesn't know how he didn't see it before. "Hey, you just took a nap. You shouldn't still be sleepy." 

Pete decides to try and go with the flow and act like Patrick's more like a child. Patrick yawns and Pete cards a hand through his hair, wondering when Patrick would come back. When Patrick gets like this, it never lasts more than a day or so. He's never known why he was like this or why it seemed to only happen once in a while, but he thinks back to the account.

Age regression tended to happen when something triggered it. It was retreating into a safe space to avoid real world troubles, and Pete desperately tries to think of what might have caused it. 

He realizes in an instant though, thinking back to the interview today. Patrick's nervous about Mania, scared about the reaction to it. If he thinks back, he'd been like this the night American Beauty/American Psycho had gotten leaked, but with more tears. That in itself had been strange. Patrick rarely cried but when he was in this state, it didn't take much to set him off. Pete's honestly surprised he hasn't cried today.

"Are you hungry?" Pete eventually asks, unable to take his eyes off Patrick. Patrick nods up at him and wraps his arms around his middle, cuddling close to him. 

It's obvious that Patrick's chosen him to be his caretaker. It's a little weird, because they're dating and because of the whole situation itself, but Pete doesn't really mind all that much the more he thinks about it.

They go about the night fairly normally, though there's definitely some hiccups. Patrick doesn't want to want to go to bed and Pete has to take on a more authoritative tone to get Patrick into the bed to sleep. He feels strange about sleeping beside Patrick when he's like this, but when Patrick cuddles into him and falls fast asleep, he longs for other Patrick to come back.

He's granted his wish the next morning. Patrick wakes up grumpy and normal, and Pete's slightly relieved. "Jackass. It's too early. Go the fuck back to sleep." Pete laughs and glances at the clock. It's already eight in the morning but he knows from experience that Patrick refuses to leave bed until almost noon. 

Pete attempts to get up but Patrick latches on, arm across his chest and leg thrown over Pete's. "Nuh-uh. You woke me up so we get to cuddle." Patrick huffs, pressing his face into Pete's neck. Pete can feel the smile against his skin when he begins to play with Patrick's hair, and he can't help but smile back despite everything on his mind.

"Go back to sleep, baby. I'll watch for monsters." Pete tells him, yawning and closing his own eyes. He hadn't even meant to say that, really, but it had slipped out. Patrick makes a pleased little noise though and rests his head on his chest, promptly falling back to sleep. It's cute and Pete could watch him sleep all day.

He watches for another couple of hours until Patrick wakes up again, looking much less grumpy than before. "Hi, sleepyhead." Pete greets, kissing his forehead. He can tell that this is big Patrick, the way he moves and the look in his eyes as he stares up at Pete. 

Patrick hums and closes his eyes again. Pete feels like they should talk, but he just feels nervous and a slight sense of dread. What if Patrick thought he was crazy? But the more he admires Patrick, the more he knows it's the right thing to do. If they both knew what they were dealing with it could be easier... maybe even enjoyable for Patrick.

"I think we should talk about something." Pete starts. Patrick freezes, stiffening up and slowly sitting up. Pete can see terror in his eyes. "Not- not anything bad." Pete says hastily, his own heart aching at the thought of them breaking up. Never. He would never do that. 

Patrick still frowns and bites at his thumb nervously. "What about?" Patrick asks, eyes on his. Pete can tell he's still big, but he's probably one more fright away from regressing again. 

"So, um. I saw this thing online?" Pete begins, stumbling over his words. "This thing about... age regression." Patrick looks confused. Pete feels just as confused as him. "This fan... they pointed out that maybe you regressed yesterday? They have this official information account and stuff and like- I went through it and it makes *sense*." Pete tells Patrick nervously, not sure how Patrick will react.

Patrick just frowns deeper. "What? What do you mean, age regression? I felt a little weird yesterday but it was just nerves." Patrick says, but there's a hesitant look on his face and more fear. Pete feels like he has his answer. "Besides, that's kind of weird." Patrick tells Pete, voice a little snottier, like he's too good for that kind of thing.

"Not really." Pete counters, not knowing why he's defending the idea of it. He should be relieved that Patrick said he doesn't regress, but he knows that Patrick isn't entirely telling the truth. He's been with him for four years now and all he can think of is times like yesterday, when he had been quieter, shyer, and much more willing to cry and giggle. "It's like, a comfort thing. Like when you experience something scary." Pete tries to explain, twiddling his thumbs and watching Patrick.

Patrick brushes a hand through his hair and there's still that confused look in his eyes and it's written plain across his face that he doesn't know what Pete's talking about. "Like... you were nervous about the interview, right?" Pete asks, desperately trying to figure out how to explain it better.

Patrick nods slowly. "Yeah. But I'm always nervous about interviews. I mean... you know that." Patrick softens a little and takes Pete's hand. "I promise you, I'm not regressing or whatever you think this is. I'm just nervous." Patrick laughs lightly, like he thinks Pete's just trying to joke, but with clear objection in his eyes.

Pete frowns but nods. He knows better than to push the subject when Patrick clearly doesn't want to talk about it. So, instead of saying anything more about the matter, he shrugs. "Okay. Breakfast?" Pete asks, a little hopeful. He's hungry and Patrick's a good cook when he's hungry, too. 

He's glad when Patrick gives him a smile. "Pancakes?" Patrick asks him, leaning forward and kissing him gently. Pete hums into the kiss and deepens it a little, but backs off when he remembers the tweet. Kissing Patrick makes him feel a little weird. He knows it shouldn't, because this Patrick is a different Patrick... and Patrick had said he didn't regress. Pete figures he'll only kiss him when he's sure that it's big Patrick.

He had seen some stuff online regarding the sexual aspect of age play, and while it had intrigued him, he'd felt dirty at the thought of it. It's intriguing when he thinks back to it, imagining Patrick so shy and sweet in bed like he used to be... he pushes the thought away whenever Patrick glances at him expectantly. He can think about that another time.

"Sounds really good." Pete says. "Shower first, though?" Patrick nods and they climb out of bed. 

They head to the shower and Pete keeps the lights off, knowing how Patrick likes it. He fiddles with the knobs until he's sure it's right, turning back around to see Patrick naked, all pale skin and blushing cheeks. He's so gorgeous, and Pete still doesn't know how he was able to finally end up with him. "I love you." Pete says, unable to tear his eyes away from Patrick. 

Patrick smiles. "I love you, too." He says, and presses himself close to Pete, hands sliding up his to wrap around his neck. "I'd love you more if you let me suck you off, though." Patrick says, a bit mischievously. Pete groans and nods fervently. Between the new album business and general tiredness, they haven't done much in the past week. Pete's missed it, has missed the soft slide of Patrick's skin against his, has missed the way Patrick moaned when he pushed in all the way...

He's torn from his thoughts when Patrick shoves him towards the shower. "Get in, then." Patrick teases. Pete huffs at him but does as he's told, climbing in and watching Patrick step in as well.

Patrick doesn't waste anytime. He drops down to his knees and looks up at Pete through the spray of water, eyes looking bluer than ever. Pete groans again, stroking a hand through his hair. "Beautiful, so beautiful." He says, cock stiffening with interest when Patrick looks at him through lidded eyes and opens his mouth wide. "Fuck. Good boy." 

His words make Patrick shiver, and Pete's thoughts slide back to the age regression. His toes curl and he feels guilt flood through him - what if Patrick regressed in the middle of sex? He'd be taking advantage of him then and he feels dirty at the thought.

But then Patrick wraps his mouth around him and he gets an amazing morning blowjob that clears his thoughts. He can't think, let alone worry when Patrick's sucking him off like this, like his life depended on it.

He cums, but he feels sick and unsure of himself when he does. Pete gets Patrick off by fingering him, but he feels a little out of it and nervous. Patrick's normal when they exit the shower, but looking a little suspicious at Pete's lack of enthusiasm in the shower.

While Patrick cooks breakfast, Pete researches some more and observes Patrick. Patrick seems normal enough, humming as he flips the pancakes and dancing a little to the radio they have in the kitchen. He's so entirely Patrick that Pete gets caught up in watching him until Patrick plates his food and calls him to the table.

"What do we have going on today?" Patrick asks, cutting his pancakes into squares like he always does. Pete eats his food slowly, much more slowly than he usually does. "I hope no more interviews." Patrick laughs nervously, before stuffing his mouth with a square of pancake.

Pete looks up at him and shakes his head. "None this week. We have two next week, though." He says, watching Patrick's reaction. He wants to see if his words have any effect on Patrick, and sure enough, Patrick's thumb goes to his mouth and he bites the already bitten down nail there.

"Oh." Patrick says, frowning into his food. "I don't like interviews. They make me nervous." Patrick tells him, like Pete doesn't know.

Pete sighs and finishes his pancakes. "I know." He says through a mouthful of food. "But it's just for an hour or so. Maybe not even that long."

Patrick doesn't look very reassured and Pete tries to rack his brain and come up with childlike traits. Irrational fear was one, but Patrick wasn't quite afraid, just nervous. He ends up chalking it up to nerves, like Patrick had insisted, but he still feels like there's some missing piece of the puzzle and that Patrick isn't willing to let him look for it.

That makes him a little frustrated, in all honesty. All he wants to do is try and help Patrick so that he understands what's going on, so that they both know what to do when it happens. If it happens, Pete thinks in the back of his mind. Patrick had insisted that that wasn't something that happened to him, but Pete had caught that hesitant look. He knows when Patrick's unsure of something and he's damn sure that Patrick probably does regress but doesn't know it.

Pete wants to talk to someone about it, because Patrick definitely doesn't want to talk about it. He's not stupid enough as to force him to talk - he knows from experience that that's the wrong move and will just earn him a punch or a couple of days worth of silence.

He calls Andy. He can trust Andy to keep it a secret but also help him out, and if he's being honest, Andy would probably already know what age regression was.

Patrick leaves for groceries two days after their initial conversation and Pete phones Andy immediately, knowing he only has so much time before Patrick comes home and asks what they're talking about.

"Hey, Pete." Andy greets him, sounding as upbeat as he always did. "How's it going?" They haven't really talked since the interview, and Pete smiles. It's always good to talk to Andy.

Especially about his personal problems. Andy was like a therapist, but free. In return, Pete was a good gym partner. 

"It's Patrick." Pete says. "You know how he was really quiet during the interview and stuff?" Pete hastens to say, not wanting Andy to assume the worst. He probably wouldn't, but Pete wasn't sure about much recently. 

"Yeah?" Andy sounds confused on the other line, like he's not sure what Pete's getting at. "He's always nervous, though." 

Pete takes a deep breath. "I know. But like, when he's nervous he's not always quiet. Most of the time when he's nervous he talks a lot." Pete explains, trying to get Andy to understand.

Andy's quiet. "What are you saying, Pete?" He asks, and Pete wants to throw his hands in the air and scream. He doesn't know what he's fucking asking, he just knows he's needs help and answers. 

"And when we got home, you know, he still doesn't talk much. When he does it's like, little sentences and he trails after me like a puppy. It's cute, but then I saw this tweet-"

"Stop right there." Andy says, and Pete does. "A tweet? Is that what this is about? A tweet is making you paranoid as hell about something because some stranger on the internet wanted to assume something?" 

When out like that, Pete feels stupid. "I don't... I don't know." Pete says meekly, like Andy will be mad. He knows he's not and he knows he won't be, but he also knows that Andy's levelheaded and will give it to him straight. "I guess you're right... it's just a tweet."

"Exactly." Andy says, chuckling a bit on the other end. "You know not to listen to tweets. Fans like to assume things and are usually mad when they're not true." 

Pete chuckles back weakly, but he can see where Andy is coming from. He should have known better than to listen to a tweet from a stranger. "Thanks Andy. I feel better."

"You should start paying me for this." Andy laughs, and Pete gives a real smile. He definitely feels better know that he knows someone else's point of view on the situation. "Pay me double what you paid your last therapist." Andy jokes.

"I'd be broke in a week. Thanks again, man." Pete says, amused. "See you later."

Andy chuckles again. "See you, Pete. Don't stress much." Pete smiles as he hangs up, but despite Andy's words, he can't help the little niggling feeling of doubt in his mind. It's hard to not worry and dwell on things, especially when you're Pete Wentz.

When Patrick gets home he feels infinitely better and is humming an off key tune as he helps Patrick put away groceries. "You're in a good mood." Patrick comments, sounding a little amused himself.

"Why wouldn't I be when my little Tricky is back at home?" Pete laughs, leaning over and planting a kiss on Patrick's cheek. Patrick blushes and shoves at him.

"Dork." Patrick laughs. "All right, give me the real reason now." Pete smiles and rolls his eyes, but figures he should just tell Patrick.

It's not like it's anything bad, after all. In fact, Pete figures Patrick might even be happy that he's gained some kind of closure on the subject. I talked to Andy. Remember what I said the other day?" Pete asks, putting tomatoes in the fridge and glancing over at Patrick, whose putting away the canned goods.

"'I'm going to fuck you so hard, you're not going to be able to leave this bed for a week?'" Patrick teases, coming over to hug Pete from behind. Pete smiles when he feels his warmth on his back, and chuckles. He remembers that sentence well. 

"Not quite. The age regression thing? I told Andy about the tweet that I saw." He can feel Patrick stiffen, but he relaxes almost immediately and pushes his face into Pete's shoulder blade.

He feels weird about the reaction that he receives. At least Patrick's not angry. "What'd he say?" Patrick asks, humming. Pete feels like Patrick's definitely upset in some way.

"He told me to forget about it, and to not listen to strangers on the internet." 

Patrick practically purrs into his shoulder with delight over Pete's words. "Mhm. Told you it was stupid." He turns Pete around and nuzzles at his neck, trailing little kisses up to his lips. Pete isn't sure if he's caught in one of Patrick's games or if Patrick is genuinely fine with talking about this.

Pete nods instead. Patrick's working on unbuttoning his shirt and Pete's not going to stop him. "Yeah. You're right." Pete breathes, pulling Patrick up into a proper kiss.

"I'm always right." 

\--

They have a fight three days later, and it's a a bad one. 

Patrick and him had been doing good, doing their daily tasks and errands. Patrick had been a little busier than usual and that resulted in him being a little more tired than usual, and that mixed with Pete's own frustration over the album and the age regression thoughts sparked like fire. 

He and Patrick fought occasionally, though it was mostly small arguments over small things. A full blown fight rarely ever happened anymore. Them getting together had done wonders on their tempers and they were much more mellow these days.

They haven't fought like this in a while and Pete's trying hard not to raise his voice at Patrick even though Patrick's yelling right back at him. It's over something stupid, something to do with the album, but Pete's so damn frustrated with Patrick that he can't help but shout.

"Fuck, Patrick! You are so fucking dense and stubborn!" Pete shouts, regretting it immediately. Patrick stiffens and stares, eyes huge and afraid. 

Patrick hated being yelled at. Before the hiatus, it hadn't been a problem. He and Pete engaged in screaming matches weekly, but there had been one particular time Patrick had told him about.

He'd been drunk, cuddling into Pete and was running his mouth. Drunk Patrick had told Pete that he was afraid of yelling because of the hiatus - the shouting match between him, Patrick, and Joe - and it had scarred him. 

Pete hadn't yelled at him since. It's why Patrick now gives him that wide eyed fearful look, and if Pete looks close enough, he can see his expression change, his body position, everything.

Patrick shrinks back and averts his gaze, trembling. "I didn't- I'm sorry, Patrick, I didn't mean to!" Pete tells him desperately, stumbling forward to pull Patrick close. Patrick whines and shoves at him, tears flooding his eyes.

"Don't yell!" Patrick chokes out, and Pete freezes. There's a childlike lilt to his tone and a pout on his face as tears splash down his cheeks. "Meanie!" Pete can't do anything but stare at Patrick, eyes wide and confused.

Patrick might have said that he doesn't regress, but his mind sure has different ideas than him. 

Pete raises his hands and lowers his voice into something more soothing, head a mess of confusion and worry. He only knows that he needs to comfort Patrick before it gets worse. "Hey. I'm sorry, 'Trick. I didn't mean it... you know that, right? I would never yell at you on purpose." Pete comforts, reaching out to fold Patrick into a hug.

Patrick whimpers and goes willingly, clinging to him tightly. Pete feels like shit - he's the one who made Patrick regress so quickly. He scared him into throwing up this shield around himself, and Pete knows that it's all his fault. He wants to cry, wants to apologize and beg Patrick for forgiveness. But Patrick's little hiccups seem to be slowing down as he quiets, and Pete takes that as a good sign.

"I'm so sorry. I won't do it again, I promise." Pete whispers, stroking Patrick's hair. Patrick's eyes are huge and red and Pete feels his heart ache. 

Patrick holds out his pinky after a second. "Pinky promise?" Patrick whisper asks, looking so fucking hopeful and young and Pete's hit with how much he needs to protect him in this state, how fucking fragile Patrick might be right now.

"Pinky promise." Pete whispers back, linking their pinkies together. Patrick's eyes scrunch up and he gives him a tired smile, and Pete knows that he needs to find some way to record this or something, he needs some kind of proof to give to big Patrick. Because this Patrick isn't Patrick, despite all of Patrick's protest.

This Patrick is much younger but inside a bigger body. Pete estimates he's no older than six. Patrick looks sleepy now and Pete has no clue on how to deal with this and what to do to make Patrick comfortable. 

It's now that he's wishes he had more experience with kids. Because even if Patrick doesn't look like one, he's definitely acting like one.

"Can I have some chocolate milk?" Patrick asks eventually, pulling away from Pete and giving him another hopeful look. He looks like a little doe and Pete wants to kiss him to reassure him, but he definitely, definitely does not want to explore that right now. Not when Patrick himself doesn't even realize that he regresses, and really, not ever.

Pete smiles wearily and nods. "Of course, love." He says, and Patrick smiles happily, leading Pete to the kitchen. Pete's confused on his whole personality at the moment. Usually, when he noticed Patrick was more childlike like this, Patrick was quiet and shy. He's a little louder now but he can still see that sweet shyness hiding, and Pete doesn't know exactly what to think. This is the first time he knows what's happening and the first time he's attempted to communicate with Patrick on this level - it makes some sense that Patrick's real personality is coming out.

Patrick beams at him when Pete puts the chocolate milk down in front of him. "What are you so happy about?" Pete asks without thinking, sinking down into the seat beside Patrick. This is so fucking surreal.

"I have a Daddy now." Patrick explains, sipping on his chocolate milk. Pete splutters, and if he'd been drinking too, it would have gone flying from his mouth. 

"A-a what?" Pete coughs, staring wide eyed at Patrick. Patrick just gives him a sweet smile and keeps sipping his milk.

Patrick doesn't say anything else, but Pete thinks he might get it when he recalls his research. Patrick probably thinks of him as his caregiver now, someone to trust and place everything on. Pete's flattered and he's glad it's him, but the initial shock of it had definitely spooked him. 

They sit in relative silence aside from Patrick's happy little humming for a while, and Pete can't stop staring at him. Patrick looks the same as he always does, but everything about him is different. The way he acts, twisting his body and drinking chocolate milk - something he never drinks - and there's a soft look on his face. Pete's intrigued and wants to know more, wants to know exactly what the hell is going on and what's to know how to explain it to Patrick later on.

Pete's pulled out of his thoughts by Patrick, who shakes his arm. "Daddy," Patrick begins, and Pete isn't sure what to think about that title, "Can we watch cartoons?" 

He stands and nods, a bit flustered. "Yes, okay. Let's go to the living room, okay?" Pete says, taking Patrick's hand and leading him there. Patrick follows behind him like he always does when he's different, one hand holding onto the back of his shirt and the other securely in Pete's. 

Pete gets some cartoons on the television and sits down on the couch. Patrick sinks into him, all cuddly and soft and Pete's heart aches. As cute as little Patrick is, he wants big Patrick back. He doesn't understand this and he wants Patrick to help him understand it, wants Patrick to cooperate and know that this is happening. Pete would be lost without Patrick, and right now he kind of is. 

But when Patrick looks up and smiles at him, soft and sleepy, Pete realizes he needs to step it up and take care of Patrick right now. Patrick's done the same for him, and he knows he needs to do this for Patrick, now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than the first one and is probably shitty lmao. There might be one or two more after this, I'm not entirely sure. hope you guys enjoy! 
> 
> another chapter of chasing sunlight will be up tomorrow or friday

Pete glances nervously over at Patrick, trying to decide how to best bring it up to the younger man that he has regressed and had ended up being about five or six years old.

Patrick's humming, brushing his teeth as he gets ready for bed. Pete watches the way he always averts his eyes when he's in front of a mirror, and he feels his heart ache lightly. Patrick had never quite gotten over his self esteem issues, and Pete had remembered when they were at their worst four years ago, when Patrick was the smallest he'd ever been, not eating, and always so tired.

If he thinks about it, Patrick had acted regressed much more often then. Pete remembers the tears when he was little, hiding behind Pete nearly every time they had an interview. Pete had chalked it up to being nervous about fans reactions after four years and after his own album flop - never in a million years would he have thought that Patrick would be regressing.

And, if Pete thinks back even further, he remembers it happening even when the band first began. After their van accident in 2003, Patrick, with a cut face, had cried and had refused to let go of Pete. He needed taking care of, and hadn't done anything until Pete had told him to. It hits him like a truck - Patrick's been regressing for years and years now and none of them have ever noticed. Patrick's been without a caretaker for that long and Pete can only imagine how scared Patrick must have felt during that time. 

It makes him ache and wish he could go back and see it sooner. But, then again, their was no twitter and there were no fans to help him figure it out. Never would he have thought that Patrick was sinking into a headspace that was younger than he usually was.

Patrick prances back to the bed and Pete smiles at him, snapping out of his thoughts. Patrick looks playful, mischievous like he usually isn't, and Pete smile widens. He loves Patrick like this. It's cute to see him like this, climbing into bed and crawling into Pete's chest, sitting up and bracing himself on him. "Hi." Patrick says, hair falling into his eyes. He desperately needs a haircut, but Pete likes when his hair grows out long like this. It gives him something to pull on. 

"Hi yourself." Pete says, heart racing. He knows he had to bring it up but he doesn't want to make Patrick upset. Instead, he just runs hands up and down his sides, trying to calm himself.

He's glad that they've gotten to the point where Patrick only wears a shirt and boxers to bed. It used to be sweatpants and a shirt, and Patrick had hated when Pete looked at his thighs. Pete knows why. It's because of those little lightning bolts that dance across his skin, because of the light cellulite on the back of his thighs. Pete loves him all the same, and has spent countless hours telling him and showing him.

Patrick makes a pleased noise and scratches lightly at Pete's bare chest. "What's up? You look nervous." Patrick says, sighing when Pete rests his hands on his hips. "Did something happen? Nightmares last night?" Patrick asks. He's so thoughtful and caring and Pete feels bad that Patrick always has to care for him.

"I just. I think- I know you said you don't regress but then something happened yesterday... you did regress and you called m-me 'Daddy' and if that isn't regressing than I don't know what is." Pete blurts out, heart racing. He hadn't meant to say that, really, but he needs Patrick to know. To know that it's okay to regress whenever he wants to and to be taken care of. 

Patrick stares at him blankly before groaning. "Not this again!" He says, rolling off of Pete. "You must have heard something in your sleep or maybe it was a dream!" Patrick argues, huffing. "Seriously, Pete, is this some weird way of telling me you have a kink and you want me to act like a kid and call you Daddy?" 

Pete splutters and sits up. "No!" He says, frustrated. "I swear, Patrick, it was right after our fight! You went all little on me and made me pinky promise you I wouldn't yell anymore and then called me that." Pete explains, trying to keep his voice level. He doesn't need to yell. That would scare Patrick and break the promise he made him.

But Patrick just looks frustrated and confused and Pete feels the exact same. "I just don't get it, Pete!" Patrick very nearly shouts, but catches himself before he does. "I feel lost! I can't remember what happened after our fight and I have these blanks in my memory sometimes, and that's fucking scary, Pete!" 

They both still and stare at each other for a moment. Pete wants to bring him close and reassure him it will be okay, that they'll work through it together. Patrick looks exhausted after a moment, shrinking back and looking older than he has in years. "I'm scared, Pete." Patrick whispers, and Pete surges forward to bring him into a hug.

He holds him close and tight and he never wants to let him go. Patrick sniffles into his shoulder and Pete just rubs circles into his back. If Patrick cries, he'll be here. If he doesn't, he'll still be here.

"I know it's a scary concept, but sweetheart, I know what I saw and I know you better than this. Just tell me how you're feeling and what I can do when you feel like that." Pete whispers soothingly, trying to keep Patrick calm. He knows making the other panic or cry will just cause him to regress. 

Patrick pulls away after a moment and takes a shaky breath. "Okay. Tell me more about this." He says. Pete's proud of him for taking the leap and letting Pete do this for him. He looks nervous and confused and Pete wagers that he's not going to know anything about the subject.

He gets comfy before he starts. "So. Age regression. You know how like in BDSM there's a sub headspace and a dominant headspace?" Pete asks, scratching his arm. He's not sure if Patrick has much knowledge of this either. They never played like that in the bedroom, but their relationship was kind of like it, in some ways. If Pete had to name it, he would be the dominant and Patrick would be the submissive.

Patrick shrugs. "Well, there's this headspace. It's like a safe place for the submissive to go into. When we're talking about age regression, it's like... the little and the caregiver. I'm the caregiver, and you're the little. You have a little headspace you go into whenever you're scared or really nervous. You don't know you're doing it, so that's probably why you don't have any recollection of it." Pete explains. If Patrick went willingly into his headspace instead of being forced into it, he'd probably know what was happening.

"So, like... I act like a baby?" Patrick says, frowning. He looks cute like that and Pete wants to kiss him and hold him, but now isn't the time.

"Um... kind of? When I was doing research, it said some littles can be like, infants. But I think you're probably somewhere between four and six?" Pete says, thinking back. Patrick could speak in clear sentences and could ask for things. He couldn't be younger than four and he definitely wasn't older than six, with the way he wanted Pete to do everything for him in that headspace. "You're just kind of dependent and you want to be taken care of. I kinda get it, I mean. You're young and we've been friends for a really long time. I just never understood why you would hide behind me or want to be close to me like that when you were younger."

Patrick blushes. "I mean, half of it was probably that, and the other half was my massive crush on you." They laugh together, but it's a little bittersweet. Patrick had crushed on Pete for nearly twelve years before Pete had come to his senses. Pete's always felt guilty about it when he remembers, but he's just thankful that they're together now. "I kinda remember. Like, feeling like a kid instead of an eighteen year old. I just wanted to color and play with toys and that always made me feel so confused."

They're getting somewhere now, and Pete's fucking glad. He'd thought this process would be much harder, that Patrick would throw more of a fit, but he's not and he's sitting there, listening attentively. "So you kind of knew, huh?"

Patrick comes closer to him and tucks himself under his arm, nodding slowly. "Not about age regression, like, what it was. But I mean..." Patrick's nervous again, playing with Pete's fingers. "I knew I wanted to be a kid 'cause it would be easier and you could take care of me. But I didn't know what that was and I knew it was weird and I couldn't ask you for that."

Pete wishes he had. "It's not... it's not weird. I know you think it's weird but I don't think it's weird and I'm the only person you ever have to tell. No one else has to know, I swear." Patrick hides his face in Pete's side, but his fingers trace idly over Pete's bare chest.

They stay like that for a long time, until Pete thinks that Patrick might have fallen asleep. He's quiet and his hand eventually stills on Pete's chest, laying right over his heart. Pete doesn't stop the hand stroking through his hair though, patient and waiting. Patrick could take all the time he needed.

"I want to try it, I think." Patrick says so softly that Pete has to strain to hear it a while later. "I just don't know how to do it, I guess."

Pete sighs softly and presses a kiss to his head. "We'll figure it out, baby." Pete tells him. He's not so sure himself how they could get Patrick into a little headspace without scaring him or making him extremely nervous, so he figures that he'll have to do some research on the subject the next day and see what they could do.

"Maybe we just have to make a safe space for you..." Pete murmurs a while later when they're both half asleep. Patrick makes a sleepy noise into his neck. 

Pete feels like most of his best ideas come when he's half asleep.

\--

"Okay, so I think that's what we should do. We create this safe space for you and you can focus on that headspace. I want to try to get away from your little headspace thinking it's only okay to regress when you're scared or nervous." Pete explains to Patrick, sitting on the bed and scrolling through his phone. Patrick had just woken up moments ago, despite the fact that it was already noon.

Pete's been awake for hours, brainstorming and figuring out how to do this. He thinks it shouldn't be as hard as they're making it out to be, that they're missing some piece of the puzzle, and when it finally clicks into place, Pete feels a little better about the whole thing.

"What?" Patrick mumbles, half asleep and blinking blearily. "Too early." Pete shakes his head fondly and leans over to kiss him.

It's definitely not early. "Babe, it's going to be one in like, ten minutes. It's not early." He voices his thoughts, but Patrick just burrows down and yawns. 

Pete makes a protesting noise and shakes Patrick lightly. "I'm listening!" Patrick insists, but his eyes flutter closed again. "I promise."

He rolls his eyes, not certain Patrick actually is. He'll continue talking anyways. "Okay. So for a safe space, I don't think it should be our bedroom. Because we're dating, you know, and I don't think it would be smart of us to have you in the same place when you're little. 'Cause we do stuff here." Pete explains. Patrick yawns in response. "So that means we use the guest bedroom as a little place for you. It's empty right now, so let's just convert it into a little kids bedroom or something. We can decorate it however you want."

At that, Patrick begins to sit up, rubbing his eyes and looking a little confused. "What if people ask who we're buying for?" Patrick asks Pete, looking concerned.

Pete mulls it over, then shrugs. "We tell them we're buying for the future, or something. They know we're dating, we could be adopting a kid, or something. Or... we talk to Andy and Joe about the furniture. If we buy furniture and toys all together, that'd be a little suspicious." Pete thinks aloud.

Patrick shakes his head furiously after a moment. "Online furniture shopping. We can buy the toys in store - but I'm not telling them. They'll think it's weird. Hell, I think it's weird."

"Thank God we live in 2017." Pete exclaims, wrapping his arms around Patrick. "Okay. So then we get the room how you want it and then we focus on getting you to regress. It might take some time to get this to work."

Patrick sighs and there's a slight frown on his face that makes Pete frown back. He knows that Patrick thinks it's weird, but they have to put in a little effort to get Patrick into that headspace without scaring him. Pete doesn't want to push on with this if Patrick doesn't want it, though.

"Are you sure you want this?" Pete asks softly, taking his hand and squeezing tightly. 

"I don't know. But I want to try." 

Pete grabs his laptop after a couple minutes of silence and opens up a tab for a furniture website, clicking on their kids section. "Pick out anything."

He hands the laptop to Patrick and Patrick takes it hesitantly, like it's going to blow up in his face if he handles it wrong. Pete sinks into Patrick's side and they browse the site together. 

After a while of browsing the site, Pete realizes Patrick is picking out a sort of space theme. It's cute, the little rocket bed he puts into the cart and the space mobile - Pete wishes he had a cool bedroom when he was younger. "Space themed?" He teases lightly, fingers tickling over Patrick's ribs.

Patrick giggles and turns to press a kiss to Pete's cheek. "I loved space when I was a kid. I wanted to either be a musician or an astronaut." Patrick tells Pete, smiling at him. Pete's sure he's heard this story before. He knows everything about Patrick. 

"We'll make you the coolest space room ever, then." Pete decides. Patrick just brushes lightly in return and shoves lightly at him.

Once the furnitures all done and ordered, they spend the day lounging about. Pete decides that they can go to the store later, when it's late and when no ones bound to be inside. They can pick out toys then, and Patrick won't have to worry about being seen or judged.

Of course, when Pete says this, Patrick spends the entire day worrying. He stresses, snapping at Pete over small things and refusing to cook. Patrick tries to get his mind off it by working on music, but that ultimately just stresses him out more. Pete's stressed because Patrick's stressed, and that day actually really sucks because of it.

When they're leaving the house later that night, Patrick's actually trembling a little bit. Pete's half afraid he's going to regress because he's scared, and he desperately doesn't want that. He puts on Patrick's favorite songs in the car to help ease his nerves, and while it helps a little bit, he can't help but notice Patrick biting his thumb nail.

"Breathe, Patrick, it's okay. No ones going to see us, and even if they do, we just tell them we're buying for a friends kid's birthday." Pete assures him once they're parked in the all night supermarket parking lot. It's fairly late, almost one, but they're both night owls and coming now was the best option they had.

Patrick takes Pete's hand and pulls up the hood of his jacket, Pete doing the same. While Pete didn't really think there would be anyone inside at this hour, he also didn't want to take the chance to get recognized. "Sunglasses?" Pete asks, and Patrick nods.

They both push sunglasses onto their face despite the dark and head inside. Pete's aware that they probably look like douchebags like this, but no one would be forcing them to take off their hood and sunglasses. This was their best disguise.

"Okay. Let's go look at some toys." Pete whispers when they enter the supermarket, keeping Patrick close. Patrick stays quiet and Pete takes it as a yes.

He leads them to the back of the store. They only see a few people, most are in pajamas and probably high on something and looking for a snack. Pete would chuckle but every time they do pass someone, Patrick tenses up and hides closer to Pete.

The toy aisles are thankfully empty, and Pete tells Patrick as much. "All right... toys. Maybe coloring books? You said you had wanted to color." Pete suggests quietly, keeping an eye out for anyone that might be approaching.

"Okay." Patrick whispers, looking up. "Do you think they have Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toys?" He asks, a bit nervously.

Pete grins. "I bet they do. And they probably have Batman toys, too." Pete doesn't miss the way Patrick brightens up slightly, clutching his hand a little tighter. It's cute, how Patrick gets excited, and Pete recalls Patrick telling him how much he had loved the two things when he was younger.

He sits down on the ground and Patrick let's go of his hand, moving down the aisles and searching. Pete messes around on his phone, checking Twitter and Snapchat and generally trying to appear busy in case someone came across him.

Patrick's gone for a while, but when he returns, he's got a rolling cart with toys upon toys stacked in it. "You said I could get whatever, right...?" Patrick asks, a bit nervously, like he's afraid Pete will be mad. 

Pete jumps up to his feet immediately, grinning at Patrick. "Of course, love. Anything you want." Money wasn't an issue, and Pete hopes that Patrick knows that.

"Can we look at the coloring books?" Patrick asks, voice pitched up lightly. Pete stops in his tracks, staring at Patrick for a moment. "I'm not- not regressing. I just feel, um... lighter?" Patrick tries to explain, clutching the rolling cart so tightly that his knuckles turn white. "I don't know. I liked picking out toys."

Pete just chuckles lightly and smiles, relieved that he's not regressed. "You are so damn cute." Pete says, wanting to just kiss the breath out of Patrick. "Okay. Coloring books. Let's go."

Patrick follows behind Pete to the book aisle, pushing the cart and looking around for other people. Pete does the same, glad when they don't run across anyone, and when they're safely tucked behind books, he smiles again. "Whatever you want." Pete reminds him. 

He takes a seat again as Patrick begins to go through the coloring books, searching for the best ones. Though Pete still has mild insomnia, he finds himself nodding off as he waits for Patrick to finish, eyes closing. He's tired despite the insomnia. The stress of today had been a lot and had worn them both out.

"I'm all done." Patrick whispers, and Pete can hear the tiredness in his voice, too. 

Pete yawns and stands up, taking Patrick's hand and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. "Okay." 

And, despite how tired he is and how much he'd rather be in bed, the smile Patrick gives him is definitely worth it.

\--

Over the next week, Pete and Patrick arrange the guest bedroom into a kid's room. Pete gets space themed wallpaper and glow in the dark stars and planets, and Patrick laughs with excitement when he sees them.

It's a little slow going, getting it all perfect, but in the end it looks great and Pete feels good about it. It really looks like a kid's room and Patrick admires it, looking excited for the first time to regress on his own terms. Pete's excited for that moment, too.

They move all the toys into the room, organizing them neatly. Pete jokes with Patrick that if Patrick does end up regressing, they're not going to be anywhere as neat as they are now. Little boys are messy, and Patrick probably isn't going to be an exception.

Patrick reminds Pete that he'll have to be the one to cook when Patrick's regressed, and Pete just groans. They're going to have to get used to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, then, Pete figures, because he's not much good at cooking anything else. Patrick was the cook here.

Pete's thoroughly nervous once it's all done though, because fuck, he's not sure if he can do this. He voices his thoughts to Patrick at dinner that night, twirling his spaghetti around his fork nervously. 

"Patrick, what if I totally suck at taking care of you? I'm not great with kids, fuck. What if you end up hating me when you're little?" Pete asks, stressed. Patrick, surprisingly, looks more calm than Pete's seen in the past week. "Fuck!"

Patrick chuckles lightly and Pete wants to shake him and ask what the hell is so funny, because he's freaking out a little and Patrick is all of a sudden so damn calm about the situation. "You'll do fine. You are so great with kids and I'd love you no matter what. I trust you."

Pete swallows hard and while he's glad Patrick's fears about this have dissolved, his own are back at full force. Before, when the room wasn't there and Patrick hadn't wanted it, it was easy to not worry about, because it was something that was entirely real. But now that they've got their fucking guest bedroom set up in semblance to a damn kid's room, and now that Patrick's willing to try it and unafraid, he's hesitating, having second thoughts about the whole thing and a small part of him wishes he had kept quiet.

They'd agreed to get Patrick into his headspace the next morning, and to prepare mentally, Patrick was going to be sleeping in his new bedroom. But when they finish dinner and are getting ready for bed, Pete sorely regrets that decision. 

"Just sleep with me." Pete whispers when it's time to go to bed and Patrick's about to leave the master bedroom. "Screw it." 

But Patrick just turns and smiles, and gives him one more kiss. Pete feels terror rush through him, like this is the last time Patrick will ever be normal. It's not the last time, of course, but for some reason, he feels like it's the last time that this is going to be this Patrick, a Patrick whose never regressed willingly, a Patrick who didn't know what age regression was. He's mildly terrified, and he doesn't want to let go.

"I'm just in the next room, dork." Patrick says, and Pete knows. He knows that Patrick's just right there but in the morning, everything's going to be different. He's not even sure if Patrick will wake up his normal self, or if he'll have regressed, but he figures they'll find out.

Pete lays down and he tries to get his racing mind to calm down, but he just knows that something's going to be different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you enjoyed it!! :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed!


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